Sam went to London once. The second semester of sophomore year. He joined a study abroad program, saw the sights, even visited France on a long weekend. He flirted with a French girl - and her boyfriend - but decided jumping from zero partners to two partners was a little out of his league at the time. He loved London. He got drunk, he got loud, he was just a tourist. A student. A kid having a good time in a foreign city, and he didn’t have to be anything more.
Sam went on a roadtrip once. Brady rented a car with his dad’s money, and they set out from Stanford to Vegas the summer before senior year. It was nice. A roadtrip where he didn’t have to pack and unpack his whole life in a matter of days, where he wasn’t in mortal danger every time he turned his back. Brady asked once or twice how he was so good with sitting in a car for so long, and he just shrugged.
Sam flew to New York once. Jess surprised him with the tickets for Christmas, but he was too proud to let her pay for all of it. He used a little bit of his savings to splurge on a nice room in the city, and they visited all the shops and sights. It took his breath away to see the Statue of Liberty - for the first time in his life surprisingly - covered in snow and ice. A cold freedom. That certainly sounded familiar. She wanted to visit the Today Show and wave for the cameras, but Sam couldn’t risk it. His brother couldn’t know.
They asked him once if he wanted to go to the Grand Canyon. He told them no, it’s too over-rated. Just a bunch of nothing. A big ol’ whole in the ground. They rolled their eyes, a few of them agreeing, starting a good-natured argument in the group.
He didn’t tell them his brother always wanted to see the Grand Canyon. He would go anywhere, see any sight, but the Grand Canyon - that was Dean’s.
Sam doesn’t know it, but Dean went to London once.
Sam doesn’t know it, but Dean blew five hundred dollars in Vegas once.
Sam doesn’t know it, but one time Dean hooked up with a cougar in New York and they stayed at her suite all weekend.
And Sam doesn’t know it, but Dean kept holding his breath that maybe one day, he could see his brother in front of the Grand Canyon too.