Ang Lee must be kicking himself for not thinking of making Life of Pi an all-white affair with Freddie Highmore as its lead. Damn, and if only Slumdog Millionaire had been made with Josh Hutcherson in place of Dev Patel and Stanley Tucci in place of Anil Kapoor. Why stop there? Because Abrams obviously also wanted to s**t on one of the greatest roles ever played by a Latino actor. So why don’t we remake West Side Story with an all-white cast? And I can’t wait to see Chris Hemsworth play Zorro!
Nichelle Nichols’ Uhura was defined by her competence at her job, by the fact that she was the communications officer of the Federation’s flagship. Zoe Saldana’s Uhura is defined by her relationship to Spock. A franchise that even in the chauvinistic ’60s used to shatter the Bechdel test all the time in its depiction of Uhura now fails to meet it in this film made four decades later. How is this progress?
|Kirk:||Mister Chekov, go put on a red shirt.|
|Entire Cinema:||Aw, shit.|
|Spock:||don't do the thing|
|Kirk:||I'M GOING TO DO THE THING|
|#mccoy:||WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THE THING|
|#Uhura:||I THOUGHT WE TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THE THING|
|#Sulu:||I VOLUNTEER TO HELP DO THE THING|
|#Chekov:||THE THING WAS INWENTED IN RUSSIA|